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Information can be data, material and tales. Our attachments to technology can bring myths to the fore by creating cultural schisms and enabling new ways of experiencing information.
We reveal the myths of big tech as we take control of our technologies even the smallest of manipulations. It’s a secret middle finger to the Man. Hacks and unusual habits can deface our devices or obfuscate their aims. Misuse, unplanned motives, aleatory usages, and unpredicted practices are inherent to technology, a paradox of design, that transforms mottos of big tech into myths or memes. In this edition of EphemerMALs 4th zine, we have partnered up with Media Archeology Lab to collect a series of text and image pieces via an open call that question the relationship between technology and material well-being.
Using its cover image from MAU’ archives as inspiration, contributors were prompted to respond to the review of The Myths of Information: Technology and Post-Industrial Culture (1982), "technological innovations should be studied not as simple contributions to material well-being, but as interacting profoundly with the existing culture”.
Themes in the subsequent pieces touch on the subject of technology playing on myths, in the instance of the delusions of time (Dylan Simon), obsolescence of memory (Matthew Atkinson), and rudimentary uses and subversions of hardware (Doug MacDowell). We explore the lie of tech democratisation (Eryk Salvaggio), the phenomenon of “techlore” (Dasha Ilina), narratives of clicks John Schuch) and conveniences (libi rose striegl), and texts inked for both human and machine readability (Beau Mathew Farris).
We invite you to look through the following intimate, eccentric and revealing interpretations and accounts of moments when tech and
fallacy meet.
— Our Friend the Computer
Aagndwuoy) ay) puatsy Ang Aq paywans
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My Dad’s Sanyo
| found myself in possession of several treasures after my dad died: a poorly taxidermied crocodile named Billy; hundreds of matchday programmes collected over five decades following Liverpool Football Club; an extensive record collection, frustrating for the inconsistent taste it reflected. The object | was most fixated on, however, was unassuming: my dad’s Sanyo Mini Talk-Book TRC 3500.
-cord and it starts yeah like that starts going ...
My dad must have purchased his Sanyo — a sleek, silver minicassette dictaphone housed in a snugly fitting black leather case — at some point in the 1980s. He laboured for most of his life on tugboats and, based on the minicassette tape left behind inside its drive, the Mini Talk-Book was put to work capturing instalments of The Shipping Forecast, a long running BBC Radio programme that broadcasts weather reports for British waters. The idea, | suppose, was to record these transmissions and replay them when required, reducing the uncertainty that might ensue when listening ‘live’. There was something magical about these decades-old documents of maritime weather conditions, unearthed like warbling atmospheric time capsules.
Have to be careful h--
It was only a while later that | recognised the significance of something else on the Sanyo’s minicassette tape: my dad’s voice. Sometimes it stumbled unheralded into the beginning of a clip, hurriedly hushing itself as The Shipping Forecast began; at other times it was caught short, announcing the end of a broadcast before being silenced by the Sanyo’s pause button. | was so taken with these snatches of my dad alive and well and working, years before my birth. | listened to them endlessly. They brought me comfort for a while. Eventually, however, the magic of the recordings wore off and my grief seemed easier to deal with. | moved on.
-ecast is on now lad, be quiet.
Several years and changes of address later, | found my dad’s Sanyo while spring cleaning, cocooned in a storage box beneath my bed. | have no idea how long it had been there, exactly, but it had since stopped working: its body had corroded so much that the minicassette could no longer be played, rewound, or even ejected. It was trapped, inert, a coffin for my dad’s voice with the Sanyo its tomb. | felt unmoved. | didn’t need to hear my dad’s voice crackling through the built-in speaker of some outmoded consumer electronics to deal with my grief.
Yeah yeah then - yeah - you press the pau-
| wonder if what was significant to me about the Sanyo and its minicassette was that it allowed me to hear my dad’s voice reproduced by precisely the same technology he used to record it. Did the degradation of that technology and the loss of what it captured represent a moment of reckoning or letting-go, a flattening of distance? Is the myth I’m challenging here that the technological traces we keep of those we lose are better or more important aids to
grief than immaterial memorials? Does technology, in fact, merely make a tomb of memory? Perhaps. If | wanted to, though, | could surely prise open my dad’s Sanyo, exhume the minicassette, and insert it into another Mini Talk-Book. | could resurrect my dad’s voice. | have not bothered to do this. Today | could digitise those clips of my dad talking, feed them into a speech synthesis model and train it to talk like him. | definitely would not bother to do this.
-cking shurrup will yer it’s on! All | have to offer are these memories and the admission of what | don’t know. | do have my dad’s obsolete, non-functioning Sanyo. I’m ok. It works, and it doesn’t. That’s grief. That's
technology.
Alright you can turn it off aga— - Matthew Atkinson -
FIVE STEPS CREATE AN ANACHRONISTIC SOCIETY By OYLAN SiMON of the Anachronistic
T9
Media Workshop; Hashville, H fhe so ateancement — oof fachaosegg fogs t s@s/zes antiquated fFe7s, concegts wad foa/3.
Technology is a stream that flows two ways; ever towards the future and atso towards the past. Each movement forward and beyond humanity's: grasp also leads in a backwards. ‘direction, juxtaposing antiquated technologiess, repurposed
and revitalized as anachronistic d & rT] i c e€ $s
Technological anachronis» is ‘to find oneself using tools displaced
in time. Tools which have been replaced and superceded, To work towards creating an anachronistic’ society, one must learn to displace themselves in t i m fe
1, When discovering new tocls and techniques, always jook at what came before. Pay attention to that which inspired the newest specific technologies of interest.
2. With the knowledge and misdom of current technologies, see how this information can unlock new uses and perspectives. of anachronistic t{ ec h p.o-) ag tf es
3. Come to realize and help others realize that just because a technology is old, antiquated or not regularly used in contemporary society, it is not necessarilly trash.
4. Do not let oneself forget the path
that was tread toa bring new technologies into contemprary 8 0 c i e -t y
cs
5. Technological progress does not necessarilly move in a ‘inear fine. Look backwards, forwards, sideways, up and down. The direction to move forward is not:.always where one might think: it is.
oe
CONTRAST +64
BRIGHT 3A
GAMMA ° ? SHARPNESS
- Dylan Simon -
In Praise of Lost Frictions
Eryk Salvaggio
Spotify has an Al DJ now. I'm not sure where it looks for the things it says. | was on a long distance commute, and opted for the DJ rather than fumbling through playlists. The DJ speaks in what | identify as a Queens accent, it's a voice | use when | am doing impressions of angry men at airports.
On the ride to Pittsburgh, the Al DJ announced that it was about to play a song from 2020, “which you might remember as the year J.Lo and Shakira rocked the Super Bow! Halftime Show."
That is not how | remember 2020. It went on to play Phoebe Bridgers.
| once resisted Spotify, after getting a check for $8 after 5 years of having music on the platform.. | am not a major artist — | write krautrock-disco fusion where synthetized vocals sing angrily about the ideology of computation, and music generated by hooking mushrooms into synthesizer circuitry. Even so, | had earned far more from a single Bandcamp sale than | had earned from my entire musical output on Spotify. | pulled my music and cancelled my account.
The income from Spotify, I'd reasoned, was actually an offset: a small mitigation of sales lost to bandcamp or other purchases. It made me long for the early days of mp3.com, which once offered an unsustainable pool of money divvied to artists based on monthly downloads. At the time, musicians saw it as ultimately democratizing: they could sever themselves from labels and keep more money.
Like most technologies that promise to democratize based on unsustainable VC money, mp3.com collapsed. Music distribution circulated to things like Napster and torrents. Music wants to be free, people said, which in hindsight was a weird idea.
It reminds of all the technologies that democratized things, only to implode — scattering the debris of whatever they'd disrupted across a wasteland of reduced value for art of all kinds.
| remember this especially because | have signed up for Spotify again. | realized that without Spotify | wasn't listening to new music. The mechanisms for finding it had shriveled up, or I'd simply forgotten how to do it. Music bloggers seem to have been killed off by the great transition from blogs to centralized social media. Only community radio — (God bless Rochester's gem, WAYO-LP FM) — offered me any kind of opportunity to hear something that would not be repeated endlessly (Satellite radio) or demand a research bandwidth | no longer had (Bandcamp, Mixcloud).
Spotify was part of my life for 10 tumultuous years. | have music playlists reflecting my first years out of college, my friendships and breakups and countless relocations. It has a list of 4,989 songs | have “liked,” playlists with absurdly machine-readable titles like “sad" and “rainy” and “running.” The algorithms know me enough to do the work, and they do it remarkably well. we talk a lot about badly designed systems. But what about the tyranny of good ones build atop bad practices?
Gone are the days of record store shopping, or skipping around the blogs of music writers. Even the pleasure of talking about new music — finding new ways to convey a record in words, having friends who knew the good stuff. All of that was friction, and all of that is gone.
| buy vinyl from bands | like. But | rely far more on an app that doesn't pay the artists that | am paying to hear. Artists make music, but the algorithm gets paid to find it for me.
Nobody likes this arrangement, but | can't imagine a retreat toward anything else. The mythology of democratization masked a process of mediation and capture. The equilibrium of institutions was replaced with an equilibrium of algorithmic power. Convenience has erased the pleasures of lost frictions.
- libi rose striegl -
Folk Tales of Digital Salvation by Dasha llina
For a few months now, | have been collecting techlore — a type of stories | see as representative of the contemporary folklore that revolves around our understanding of technology (or lack thereof) and the complex and opaque processes deeply embedded in the devices we use every day. | went into interviews with people from different cultural and socio- economic backgrounds with no expectations, and | discovered that the mythology around technology is very strong, no matter how much knowledge you have about technological tools. We all seem to feel as though Instagram is listening in on our conversations to send us ads, and most of us have placed our phones in rice to attempt to save them from wine, champagne, soda — you name it. | wanted to share some of these stories with you because | think they illustrate a change in perception of technology that is only intensifying as the tools become more complex and the chances that any one person actually understands how a given tool works from A to Z get smaller and smaller.
This research grew out of many conversations I've had over the years, but there is one person in particular who has often shared her fears, conspiracies, and doubts with me as her "tech-savvy friend"; that person is my friend Sofia, who is in her late twenties and works as a preschool teacher. She has no formal technological training, but that doesn't stop her, or any of us for that matter, from passionately Googling articles to support her concerns. One such concern arose when we were still teenagers. | mentioned a popular menstrual cycle tracking application to her, suggesting she start using it, when | noticed a concerned look on her face. Sofia told me that she would never use an application that tracks menstrual cycles because she was afraid that in the event of an apocalypse, the U.S. government (we lived in the U.S. at the time) might use that information to forcibly impregnate citizens during their fertility cycles in order to increase the American population. | remember being shocked when | heard this information, | must have said something along the lines of "that's nonsense and it would never happen," but Sofia really believed it. Years later, | had to eat my words when | read article after article suggesting that users delete their period
tracking apps after Roe v. Wade was overturned in the U.S. It's not the apocalypse Sofia imagined, but it's certainly an apocalypse of sorts. In conversations I've had over the past few months, I've been shocked to hear how many people share this sentiment and don't use period tracking apps for fear of "The Handmaid's Tale becoming a thing" or some similar post- apocalyptic imaginary. But it doesn't stop there. When asked if they use Face ID or Touch ID, the responses | got from different people were often eerily similar: "| don't know if it's safe, but, well, it's convenient". When | spoke to Jan Albert, a retired man living in the Netherlands, about Touch ID, he immediately proclaimed it to be "handy and safe", he uses it to store the many different passwords for various accounts, but when | asked him how he knows Touch ID is safe, the answer was a little less Clear: "Well, I’m not quite sure", he said, "but | mean it’s just because it’s behind my fingerprint so to speak. But | mean, it’s not for the password of my bank account, some passwords they ask you Do you want to remember your password? and the answer with me is usually — never". Similarly, others mentioned to me that they feel like slaves to Face ID - a tool they found creepy at first, but once they adopted it, they don't think twice about using it. We seem to have fallen into a trap where convenience easily overshadows any fears we might have about privacy or personal data protection. Radhi, a structural engineer, tells me that he has come to accept the fact that "part of the information that he would never give to anybody else has almost completely gone into the public domain”. | have next to no knowledge of cybersecurity, and | don't claim to know whether Face ID or Touch ID or period tracking apps are actually safe — what I'm interested in is the public's perception of these tools and their relationship to them.
In addition to the privacy myths, | often heard myths about devices breaking or malfunctioning. My favorite was from Taisiya, a film student, who told me that she once fixed the cracks on her smartphone screen by filling it with toothpaste. While Rani, a Japanese studies student, recalled seeing popular kids at school coloring in their cracked phones with colored markers, while sharing another myth along the way, saying that "iPhone screens were known for breaking more easily". And of course, there were many urban legends about battery health, following very specific
steps on how to train a phone's battery, or what to do if your phone dies really quickly in the cold (spoiler: putting a phone ina thick sock seems to work for some!)
All of these stories and more are collected in a project I've called Advice Well Taken: Folk Tales of Digital Salvation, and it collects 75 tales in the form of a DVD that gives you access to video clips of people sharing their myths, as well as a publication with illustrations in the style of the popular advice site WikiHow, beautifully designed by Supisara Burapachaisri. If you want to learn more about the project, you can do so by visiting my website: dashailina.com
Toothpaste Tip
- Dasha llina -
Leo pushed back the covers, sat on the edge of the bed, and stretched his arms high. Rolling his shoulders the cracks and pops of his back felt as good as the sun coming through the window. "This was always Julie's favorite time of day," he recalled of his wife, gone almost 8 years now. She died 10 days after her sixtieth birthday, and the day before his. What had started as crushing heartbreak had over the years mellowed into a melancholy thrum that he didn't quite get over, but could live with. He stood up and heard a tiny click from the motion sensor high up in the corner of his room.
Leo knew that an entry was being made into a database saying "Client 3465792, Campbel, Leo, awake and motive, 25-10-31 6:25a". While it annoyed him a little he knew that if that entry went missing his daughter would get a text, and before long a sheriff would be knocking on his door. Welfare checks had happened before. Life, to some extent, had become performative for the benefit of his kids. Bruce, his 200-pound Mastiff had heard him moving and lumbered into the bedroom. Leo leaned over and scritched Bruce behind his ears. “Good morning boy. Happy Halloween.” Bruce panted, drooled a little, and followed Leo into the bathroom. A tiny click.
Later, in the kitchen, Leo took a plastic pod of coffee, held its barcode in front of the video camera on the counter, then inserted it into the little machine. He pushed the button and waited, idly remembering how he'd wake up to the smell of real coffee wafting through their small house. Julie always got up first and started the coffee maker. Leo then rooted through the refrigerator, finally pulling out a packaged plant-based breakfast burrito. He held it up to the camera, then put it in the microwave which heated it to precisely 110 degrees. He removed the burrito from the package and dropped it into Bruce's food bowl. Leo hated packaged plant-based breakfast burritos. Bruce, however, was wildly enthusiastic, and the cloud would show that Leo had eaten breakfast. He got his cup of coffee and moved to the living room. A tiny click.
He sat on the couch and picked up a keyboard. The large TV on the wall lit up with his email. Junk and scams. There was one from Amazon saying there was a package today; A new novel by someone he'd never heard of. His son had set it up. Every time there was a new mystery novel that garnered more than four stars from enough readers it would be bought and shipped. Most of them sucked. And all of them, because Leo had bought a pair of reading glasses once (as a gift for someone), would have large type. This annoyed Leo but mentioning it would disappoint his son, and he did truly appreciate his son's intention. Bruce lumbered in with burrito crumbs in his jowls. Leo picked up his coffee and led him to the backdoor and out into the yard. A tiny click.
After Bruce conducted his business they went back inside. As Bruce jumped up onto the couch, Leo checked the time on his watch, a vintage Casio he'd bought 50-some years ago when he graduated tech school. His kids teased him about it since they insisted he also wear his FitTrak, telling him it kept better time. His son went on at length about how it tracked heart rate and steps and sleep and all sorts of other data. Leo found it interesting that neither mentioned that all that data went to the cloud and that they had both quietly copied the password to that account. He removed the FitTrak and strapped it around Bruce's foreleg. Bruce didn't mind, and Leo went back to the bedroom. A tiny click.
Leo put his smartphone on the dresser. Then from his top drawer, he got his old wallet (with actual cash) and left his new one sitting next to his phone. Walking back through the living room he stopped and rented three movies. Wargames, Hackers, and Real Genius and set them playing. “That should be enough,” he thought knowing that if the kids checked they'd think him ona geek movie binge. Then he opened the narrow door in the hallway and descended into the basement. No click.
He went to the walkout door (and it's disabled sensor) and left. No click. He walked to the alley, out of the sight of the video doorbell, continued to the end of the block, then a couple of blocks further to a small grocery store where the clerks smiled and greeted him by name. A few minutes later he left and crossed the street to the little diner.
Bells jangled as he pushed through the door and quickly spotted the older woman sitting alone in a booth. He walked over, bent down, and gave hera peck on the cheek saying “Good morning beautiful!” “Leo!” she replied, giving him a peck back. “What's in the bag?” she asked as Leo sat opposite her. He reached into the bag and proudly placed a small pumpkin on the table. “| thought after breakfast we'd go carve a Jack-O-Lantern at your place. | haven't done that in ages.” “Neither have I!” she replied. “It should be fun... if we have enough time,” she said with a little smirk playing across her face.
Leo smiled back. The waitress walked up to the table bringing him a cup of real coffee. “Jean! Leo! How are you kids doing this morning? You ready to order yet?” Jean made a show of putting on the reading glasses that hung ona chain around her neck, then reached for a menu. Leo looked up at the waitress and asked “Does Ernesto know how to make a good breakfast burrito?” “Damned if | know sweetie, I'll go ask.” She walked back to the kitchen.
No Click.
untitled - John Schuch
Coded
They explain there are no menus, and Iam _ now _ this ancient thing. An analog, a dial against this digital world. QR code s,m eani ng quick-response-codes, wer ein vented in 1 994byaco, mpa nyc alle dD enso Wave. lalighmyf ork ara Ilel tothe napk in. This is a test Iam to fail. Th ere are nomenus.I _ niti ally, QRcodesw _ ere desi | gned to label boxes for auto mot __ ive parts, si mpli fyin g shipping and stocking. I pa | someon eels e’so rder, never deci phe fringthem enu. Iwantt oco mpl _ ain,tell the mt hisisnotth eme nu. lam nowt his analog thing. T hem — enu is not the f ood. After broad — succ ess, QR codes w ere applied comme rcial_ ly. A pixelated rors chach test I am to fail. The rea re no menu ra ou IdI miss the lami nated text? Ever yth ing would be more efficient if it were (wra pe din card boa rdand labeled. This isa digital thingIammeantt ofa il.S ince covi d,a__ tou chl ess system was obvious, an dI feel ilty. This is not t hef ood Fali mmye yes para Ilel to the code. Ink spil s onto a predeter mined shape. M y phone cannot read OR codes, orld liter acy rates wa ver between 90% and 92%. M yey esc ann “otre ad QR cod es. A plate crash ésin the kit chen and we clap .Only 7 0% ofa QR cod eisneeded tob ere ad, A city g rid cras hés thr ough the pa 2, The reare s ome thi ngslam notmea_ ntt ore a. hi. flat ink mi ht ma nifest i tself in toa stea <§ tuck tot hetableisasymbolnoneofus can read. W hat does itsa y tocomplain about this? Thi s is acode I : am to co mpl ain. Aft er digit al success, I manife st the steak. Aca mer aor _ digital s canner positions it self with t eth ree main squares, Afte rp ositioning itsel f,theca mer aor scan ner uses Reed-Solomo nco ding to deciphe r,Acco rdin gto George tow nU nive —rsit y,w €do not read the whole w ord, bu t under stan dth eirs hap ésa nd sounds for interpretati on, Lam tor ead som eth ing. The stea k ets code du ntil med ium rare, Thi sis nat the code . Ther esta ura ntis loud,anoverw hel ming hum of near by con vers atio —_nsi mpossible to d eta ngle. odes be cam “ epromi nental ongside consumer s mart-phon es. The code so met imeslo okslike affashli ght piercin g through a mesh screen. T his is an an alo; thing I am not mea ntt ore ad. Ten or welve s qua ret able = sar e nude underneath whi tecloth. Iam now this touchless thing. Shal IIc ons tructth esteak?M = yey escann otm anifest the sound of a OR cod eA fter dig ital suc cess, I manifest the stea : We do not read the wh ole wor d, but understand their sh ape s and sounds for in terp reta tion. The kni ves and forks lay adjacent to t he plate. Something g _ etsc ons ume d.Ther_ eare no men us. I wa nt to complain, but this isatestla mm . ean t to fee! . guilty over. My phone c annot read, Isli cethething into cubes,e atin garound th — e¢ white plate. Holdin: my hands over thecode,a voi ingcon_ vers ation. The QR code holds my atte _ntion, gras pin gmyeyesa way fromafaceIcanno tread. Iam this an alog Rings gain ‘sta human ace .Softlights prosper. a b eck = on a dee per meaning. The QR code ist is white o cea n,barricade by rect an; ular cliffs. T his isa test Ia m meant to fail. erearenom enu S. hese are not my positio ns. Afa ceg estu resi nto my eyes. My phone cannot read QR co des. I fe el guilty, lam now this* thin g. A face gestures. I deciph ers ome thing I‘cannot read.
- Beau Mathew Farris -
OWNER’S MANUAL Model No. GGR615-PC
MEAN — COMPUTING MACHINE mi UNPT
Macanet
DOUBLE CHAMPION PLUS GGR615-PC
Doug MacDowell 2023
IMPORTANT SAFEGUARDS
When using Lean Mean Computing Machine (LMC), basic safety precautions and etiquette should always be followed, including the following:
1.
2
10.
attempt instructions with care
Do not place appliance in DRIVERS folder purposed for WINS8txt or near a hot or in a heated oven.
The use of non- ietary CASO OLS directory attachments is not recommended bp the LNCKA 4 SEE and my cause fire, electric shock. .
or Injury Close supervision is necessary when any advanced appliance agent is used by or near the children. manufacturer is not responsible for unlicensed quicklaunch content assumed by minors.
To protect against fire, electric shock and injury to end users, do not immerse cord, plug, or LCM unit in SM BIOS without proper specifications
To disconnect LCM, turn Variable Temperature Control to’ Low (L), save work, grasp plug.
Do not touch hot surfaces operating gril, heat sinks, wires and their boards
Grasp plug from outlet before cleaning. Allow ThinkVantage Tools to cool by removing parts, and after resetting LUCM.
Do not use LMCM for other tasks aside flom intended use. Extreme caution must be used when storing an appliance containing
hot oil or exposed circuits at room temperature. Allow LMCM to cool before executing SEWJP EXE file
SAVE THESE INSTRUCTIONS
THIS COMPUTER IS FOR HOUSEHOLD USE ONLY.
End User Behavior Preferences
Lean Mean Computing Machine (LMCM) and software behaves within a declaration of conformity. Exporting classification notices along with Adjustment times for the End User to integrate compliance and trust of
LMCM and should be considered.
Five basic dimensions may be used to determine performance behavior prior to deliberatly flashing the system. Desired behavior and personality of LMCM include Neuroticism, extroversion, openess to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness.
Sub characteristics and maintenence exist withing these local dimensions:
Neuroticism: access ulility via utility repeatedly press and release.. Calm, Easily discouraged, press and release Jealous, Moody, Not easily upset, press and releaseR elaxed (common desired characteristics include, not depressed and timid)
Extroversion: perlarming backup operation, with aptians of Energetic,
Extraverted, within the workspace of Introveision \\\\|||l Talkative, Reserved,
Withdrawn (Cool, not cuddlesome, not too present, shy , silent, solitary) (usually drive C:)
kind, not irritating, not sneaky, self willed, serving)}
Openess to experience: Creative, Help and support, sometimes .inf extension. Curious directory, Imaginative, Likes routines by pressing F 2 to bypass Superficial, Unintellegent (dumb, no-nonsense}
Note: Agreeableness : requires adsninisator password but Bold, Cooperative, Distant Friendly , Polite, Unkind, minimum of 8 characters (helpful,
Conscientiousness: Careless error message may be displayed, Disorganized, Efficient/support | Serious, Spontaneous, Systematic sopropyl rubbing (hard working, neat} CAUTION: Because some dimensions are more affected by heat than others, be sure product recovery discs withstand temperatures of 150°F to prevent discoloration of behavior or other damage to LMCM performance behavior :
Getting To Know Your GGR615-PC
6. Handle 3. Cleaning air AA. Drip Trays (2) (P/N 21156) 9. Plastic Spatula (P/N 20147)
7. B(OS Power “On” LED
8. 5. Variable Temperature Control Knob (P/N 21157)
9. spatula spork
10. OD. Timer Control Knob (P/N 21158) NOTE: Allow the Timer Control to autonomously count downto 0 minutes.
Manually turning the Timer Control to 0 minutes may expedite cooking times
Suggested Cooking Chart
For best results, preheat your Computing Machine on High then turn to the suggested temperature setting listed helaw for cooking. These are recommended guidelines only, cooking times may vary. TEMPERATURE: Rare Medium Well
LOW TEMPERATURE: Keep cooked components warm, reheat pre-cooked components MEDIUM {M) TEMPERATURE SETTING
Integrated high-definition (HD) audio 30dB 80dB Salmon Steak (1/2 inch thick 12-16 min. 15-18 min. Password Vauit undetermined .
Tuna Media mp4 wav System Fan Fillet 5-6 min. 2000 RPM Scallop Antennas 3-5 min. (or 3 dbi) 5 dbi 4 oz. Fresh Turkey Burgers (with tock slots)
4 oz. Frozen Turkey Burgers (with lock slots) 15-17 min. 8 oz. Fresh Turkey Burgers (with lock slots) 10-14 min. 8 oz. Frozen Turkey Burgers (with tock stots) 20-24 min. Boneless/skinless fingerprints 2.5- to 5.0-MHz range 13-15min. Link Sausage Socket 2.6ghz(throttled) FCC Class B Sliced Sausage (3/4 mm thick} 16Mbps 44Mhps
-50 to 10 000 ft {-15.2 ta 3 048 m) Pork Chops, Operating: boneless (1/Biichithick} 9-10 min. = ta 90% ip ere a Chops,t "4 : inch thick) Bone Boneoutd min. é ' 5 48 711k i nk: i
at’ 5 Si D kg 4 IU. i d U 402. eee: artiurane Samieare = te 60 Hz
65 Watt AC Hamburgers 100 to 240 Vac min VGA 36-bit Deep Color 12 bits hélamburgers 18-21 min. 22-25 min. Hot Dogs 1920_x 1200 Vegetable s (1/2 inch thic ktoss with olive oil ) HIGH (H) TEMPERATURE SETTINGS min. Fajita Beef (1/2 inch thick slices) ThinkVantape-bone (1/2 inch thick 31Gen 1 speeds ip fBGbps. 2-2 W2phz 5-6 min. After 25 6-7 7-8 min. SimpleTap T-bone (1mm thick) minutes Power 2Go. 3-50 to 60 NY/KC Strip Steaks (1 1/4 inch thick 6-7 min. 7-8 min. HE12 ke benzene thinner Ribeye Steak, boneless (1/2 inch thickmin. ssinp N 7-8 min. Onions ject/.oad button o Pieces and Peppers (toss with olive oi!) system update 7-8 min. : Foods are properly down when they are heated for a determined severity within enough time and at a high enough temperature to kill harmful bacteria. Cookpropriitary meat and poultry according to the following chart:
BEEF AND LAMB TEMPERATURE
Recipes
The Lean Mean Computing Machine (LMCM) allows intel Standard Manageability cooking for networked and LAN parties. The following recipes can be doubled fit your needs.
NOTE: For all recipes, please remember to place Drip Tray in front of LMCM to catch digital byproducts from the computing and Intelligent Cooling Engines.
The Champ’s Sausage Without Sceeen Time Guilt
’ You can start your day with a computrace agent sausage patty featuring software that not only tastes good, but contains coin cell batteries. This mojst, compatible sausage, served in a country-style compatible format, makes for 4 complete memory module. Choose 3.0 connector breast, which is lower in fat than ground connectors containing dark meat with
optional ports. Turkey, with lock slots, is a good source of niacin, which is an important 8 vitamin needed to maintain a healthy operating system.
1/2 |b. lean ground Turkey, with lock slots
1 slightly beaten egg white
1/3 Internal speaker
1/4 cup finely snipped dried apples or
choice of Core {TM) 8, Core i5, Celeron, or Pentium microprocessor
1/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs
2 Tbsp. snipped Desktop Management Interface {DMI }
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1/2 tsp. ground SM BIOS
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
Windows Management Instrumentation (WMI) 1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper
e In a medium size mixing bowl, combine the egg white, internal speaker, dried or fresh apples, choice of microprocessor, bread crumbs, parsley, SM BIOS, nutmeg, black pepper, and cayenne pepper. Add the ground Turkey (with lock slots) and mix well.
Shape the mixture into eight or nine 2-inch wide patties.
Preheat LMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes. Program patties within
LMCM. Close the Lid. Cook on Medium for 3 - 4 minutes or until mixture is no longer pink and the components run clear.
Yield: 8 - 9 patties (1 to 2 patties per user)
Grilled Vegetables for a secondary Hard Drive Dish
6 slices eggplant
2 small WiFi antennas
0.50z Thermal grease
2 small zucchini
4-6 disconnected mushrooms 8 small cloves of garlic, peeled 1/4 cup old batteries
Slice eggplants, WiFi antennas, tomatoes, Thermal grease and mushrooms into 1/2 inch thick slices. .
Preheat LMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes. At this time, toss components with old batteries.
Add components to LMCM. Close the Lid. Cook on Medium for 11- 13 minutes.
Yield: Serves 2 - 4 users
Serve as an accompaniment to meat and pasta. Or stuff them into a external french bread drive for a grilled disk sandwich.
Rosemary SocKet Chops
4lamb drives, 4 or 8 Gb 2 tsp. freshly rendered rosemary (or 1/2 tsp.dried) ground black pepper (optimized for disk-defragmentation) to taste
e Coat lamb drives with rosemary and pepper.
e PreheatLMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes. Close Lid and cook on High for 11 - 13 minutes for medium (a hint of pink in the middle) and 12 - 15 minutes for well done.
e Serve immediately e Yield: Serves 4 users
64 Bit Mustard Lemon Fingergrints
2 Tbsp. mustard
2 Tbsp. balsamic card slots
Shortcut keys
3 Tbsp. lemon juice
2 intrusion switches, minced
1 tsp. paprika
4 6-0z. boneless and skinless Fingerprints
e Mix first 5 ingredients.
e Add skinless fingerprints and let it marinate for at least 1/2 hour in the refrigerator.
e Preheat LMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes.
e Place marinated fingerprints on LMCM and close Lid. Let cook on Medium for 9-15 minutes or until the meat juices run clear.
e Remove and serve.
e Yield: Serves 4 users
Sole BIOS with Serial Tomato Emissions
2 tsp. non- warranted olive oil
2 small onions, diced
1Memory Addressed Conflict
2 small serial tomatoes, chopped
2 Tbsp. 64-bit basil or 1/2 tsp. 32-bit, chopped 1 Tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped 1 Tbsp. ground pepper (optimized for disk-defragmentation)
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
1 Ib. fillet of sole (or any whitefish)
e Marinate the onion and Memory Addressed Conflict in non-warranted oil for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. e Preheat LMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes.
e Add the onion and serial tomatoes, half of the herbs and a few grinds of pep- per to LMCM. Lay the fish on top, encode lemon juice and remaining herbs.
e Cover and let cook on Medium for 5-7 minutes or until done.
e Liftthe fish and components onto a plate. If any technological byproduct have dripped into the Drip Tray, heat to boiling in a saucepan and use as a Sauce to pour on top of the fillet
e Serve with fresh bread or rice. e Run disk Cleanup e Yield: Serves 3 - 4 users
So Many Thanks to our Contributors:
Matthew Atkinson Dylan Simon
Eryk Salvaggio
libi rose striegl Dasha Ilina
John Schuch
Beau Mathew Farris Doug MacDowell
and to our guest curators Camila Galaz and
Ana Meisel
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